The Adventures of the Really Bored 5
by Eddi Delaney
Summary: Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Shikamaru, and Shino are sucked into an alternate dimension because the Akatsuki mess up a dimensional jutsu. Dumb and violent! YAY!
1. Genesis of the Weird

Just to warn you, there **_is _**a plot, but it also retains it random humor. It follows the screwed up adventures of the really bored five. Pre-Chuunin exam.

Who are they? Why are they together in a mass of 5 adolescents? Find out in chapter 1!

The Akatsuki Lair

A bunch of Akatsuki people was talking. They was testin' a jutsu. It dealt with… **_TIME AND SPAAAAACE!_** And, to add to the plot: They screw it up. And they have no idea what it did or how to reverse it. Now… onward, I guess. Knave.

The Sand Sibling's House

Temari woke up before her alarm went off. She felt something weird was going on. Suspicious of her brothers, she grabbed her trusty fan sitting beside her bedroom door, and went into the hallway. First, she went to check out Kankuro's room. He was asleep and quiet. His breathing was slow.

"Well, at least he isn't dead or something. Of course, with Gaara in the house, that is subject to change," Temari said as she sighed.

Turning around, she heard a sound. (A/N: Oh, just great. I'm rhyming. -.-) There were voices coming from Gaara's room. Rushing to his door and swinging it open, she saw Gaara watching TV. He turned off whatever it was he was watching the moment she came in and stared at her, as evil as he can look. Which is pretty evil.

"G-Gaara," said Temari sternly, trying to get over his **Gaara's Death ****Glare**, "What were you watching?"

"Jeopardy," muttered Gaara inaudibly. With that he pushed past his sister in the doorway and went downstairs to raid the fridge. (A/N: Don't worry, he'll be more psycho later. n.n) But, before he could make it to his staircase which I recently poofed into existence recently, they were sucked up in a horrible vortex.

_I knew something was wrong! _Thought Temari as she was sucked in.

_Hey! That's not _tomato_ soup! GAARA! _Thought Kankuro in his dream as he was sucked in.

_I wonder if Kankuro found my soup… _Thought Gaara as he was sucked in.

Shino's House

Shino was sitting in his room, counting his cute little bugs of destruction.

((Oh, gasp; he was missing one of them. --)

"ANNIE-CHAN!" screamed Shino in anguish.

And then the swirly doom portal came. Of course, he didn't notice. He was busy mourning the death of his Annie-chan.

As he way sucked up, he thought _Annie-chan… why did you run away…_

Actually, Annie was trapped in a jar at Kiba's house. So she sent a mental message to her Shino-kun.

_Shino! The loud annoying dog boy has me trapped in a jar!_

Shino heard, but could do nothing. He was in a swirling vortex of time and space. So he cried.

Shikamaru's House

Our dear Shikamaru was sitting playing The Staring Game, in which you stare at a random object until someone else come in and notices you staring at something, thoroughly freaking them out.

Of course, we all know that he will be sucked up by the vortex as well, so let's cut to the chase.

Shikamaru was sucked up in the vortex thinking _Hn. A horrible inter dimensional vortex is sucking me up, probably a screwed jutsu… oh well. It's quiet. And it is very black and red and swirlity. Darn. I just made up a word. _

**And so it was that they were sucked up into a vortex and spit out into a hallway. Yes, all 5 of them, the same hallway. Even though it was in the middle of the night, they were all fully armed and wearing their normal clothes. Isn't that just _so_ weird!**

Suspicious Hallway

'_WTF?' _Was the first thought Kankuro had as he woke up in a hallway next to Gaara, some confused guy with a pointy ponytail, his sister, and some creepy kid in a white jacket thingy on the verge of tears.

"Who are you guys?" he said, looking confuzzled.

"Shikamaru," said our favorite Nara.

"You know who I am," said Temari to her stupid brother.

"Idiot," said Gaara.

Kankuro, getting no reply from the trembling jacket boy said, "Ok, Shikamaru, Temari, Idio-"

Sand covered his mouth. Gaara glared. His older brother nodded. The sand went away. Ooh. Magical.

Shino, in the meantime, had returned to his normal state of standing silently.

He said fiercely, "…!" But oddly, no one but the red head seemed to notice, and he didn't do anything about it but scowl.

Gaara, fed up with all of this and the guy leaning against the wall saying "…!" made him a bit annoyed, so he decided to figure out what was happening.

"Does anyone know what the heck is going on!" asked Gaara rudely.

Shikamaru nodded and returned to staring at the suddenly interesting ceiling.

His siblings looked clueless and jacket boy looked stoic. (I know, stoic is way overused when describing him, but he _is_!)

"WELL THEN TELL US!" screamed Temari, her patience gone.

Shikamaru looked over at the noisy blonde who wasn't Naruto. What it with blondes and yelling?

Anyway, he said, "We were sucked into an interdimensional vortex and dropped into an alternate reality. This is probably a school hallway."

"And who is that guy in the sunglasses? Is he mute or something?" asked Kankuro, because Shino never bothered to say anything, and Kankuro being the moron he is, just _had_ to ask.

Gaara cut in, "He isn't mute. Didn't you hear him say '…!' earlier? Stupid baka."

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy except for Shino who really _did _say it.

Anyway, the Aburame didn't like being talked about, and since Shikamaru didn't appear as if he was going to mention him anytime soon, he decided to say, "I'm Shino." Then he muttered something about Annie being nin-napped.

"Ok," said Temari so sweetly it was evil, "I'm Temari, and these are my brothers, Kankuro and Gaara." She motioned toward each of her siblings as she said their names.

"As I said, I'm Nara Shikamaru," said Shikamaru again for the sake of conversation, which is weird because he really didn't want to talk. He had a feeling though, this girl was probably scary like his mom.

Gaara played with his sand making little swirls in the air because he was bored.

Kankuro fell back asleep.

Shino stood there.

Shikamaru and Temari tried to figure out what to do.

"I'm pretty certain we are in a school."

"I know! Why don't we go here until we figure out how to get back to the Village of the Hidden Sand!"

"I need to go to the Hidden Leaf. And school is troublesome."

"You **WILL **go to school!"

"I don't think this is a ninja school."

"What? What are you talking about! Why wouldn't it be!"

"That kid behind you sure isn't a ninja."

Temari whirled around. Shikamaru sighed. Gaara played with sand. Kankuro slept. Shino stood. The random high school student stared.

"What are you staring at, stupid child!" Yelled Temari ferociously at the boy.

"Ninjas? Whatever. Um… weapons aren't allowed at school. And you all look armed and…" The boy stopped. "You aren't going to kill me, right?"

Temari, using Temperamental Girl Power, dragged all of the rest of the boys (besides Gaara. Gaara killed the high schooler and walked alongside her.) to the front office. How she found it, I don't know.

"DAMN OFFICE PERSON, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" cried Temari at the empty desk before her.

A secretary woman ran over. "How may I help you?" She said in a sickeningly sugary voice, dripping with happiness.

"ENROLL US. NOW," said Temari.

"I'm sorry, but-" the happy secretary was interrupted by the irate Gaara and squished in sand. Bloooood. He found the enrollment forms and made all of the people with him fill them out using his **Gaara's Death Glare** to convince them. Everyone forgot about the murder and filled out forms.

Then they all went to… MATH. Oh, God. No.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It was amazing, right? I know.

All of the chapters will be at least 1000 words, not including my end and beginning notes. I'm going for 100 chapters, with each dimensional visit being 5 chapters long, not including the last 5, which will be once they get home. They will be going to some preeetty weird places. I'm serious. And I don't mind flames. You can't make s'mores without 'em! And if I catch you using this saying I will kill you. IN AN ELEVATOR!


	2. Gaara and Shino: Bestest Friends?

I will write here later.

I hope this chapter is better than the last one… I warn you that it is very violent and weird. There is no ShikaxTema yet, but there will be. They've only known each other for a few minutes, so what did you expect?

EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeK! A divider!

And so, Shino, Temari, Kankuro, Shikamaru, and Gaara set off to their new math class. But Kankuro wasn't paying enough attention in the last chapter to know exactly why.

As they wandered the hallways as a big blob of people, they ran into… **_ THE HALL MONITOR!_** His name was Daryl.

"Show me you Hall Pass." Said Daryl the ugly **_HALL MONITOR_** boy, pleased that he sounded so professional. Or **so he thought**, somewhere in his weird mind.

If you think he sounded like an idiot, he looked even stupider. He had black hair, super round glasses, and a **_HALL MONITOR _**uniform.

The 5 were zoned out, thinking of excuses. Shikamaru was doing his little hand thingy whist he made something up to tell him that would trick him and yeah.

"Hello? Show me your passes!" Daryl commanded awkwardly.

"Why should we? What do you think you are, a hall monitor?" said Kankuro stupidly before Shikamaru could say something at least almost intelligent.

Everyone sighed, except for Gaara who said quietly, "Retard." And Shino, who nodded in agreement.

"Hmph." Kankuro crossed his arms like a kindergartener, but was clearly nervous.

Temari turned to Daryl and glared as she said, "Let us pass, or we'll use force!"

He cocked his head. "Hah! What're you going to do? Glare me to death?"

Then everyone death glared at him, even Shino who took off his sunglasses. Only Daryl saw this though, because Shino was standing behind everybody, thinking of how many ways he could kill Daryl with a straw.

Daryl exploded from Glare Overload Disorder in a shower of the red life juice.

"YAY!" Gaara cried, and did a happy dance in the 'rain', because he is a psychotic little boy with a demon sealed in him. You can't hate someone if he is semi-invincible and willing to kill you if you annoy him. nn

Shino was secretly happy as well, but acted as if he was freaked out too.

Everyone stepped back to get away from the demented teen, but they were also 'rained' on.

Anyway, they continued past calmly.

Shikamaru, because of the way that kid was acting, decided he had best get used to it. Shino thought he was right to kill Daryl and the office lady.

"There's the classroom." Said Kankuro, pointing to the door that Shino stopped to lean on.

Everyone looked at Shino, expecting him to open the door, but he just stood there.

"Well?" asked Temari, sounding annoyed. "Aren't you going to open the door?"

Gaara glared at him when he didn't do anything.

Shino looked at the door, then returned to his original position.

"MOVE." Kankuro kankuroed while everyone glared at Shino.

People glare a lot.

"… I don't like math." And then Shino walked away from the door.

"Whatever." And Temari opened the door, which Shino was previously leaning on, as we all know.

The Math Classroom

The whole class jumped to see five people in weird clothes step into the room.

Apparently the teacher wasn't in there at that time, so the class was stuck talking to a bunch of confused ninjas without adult assistance.

"Um…" said Kankuro, looking at the astounded kids his age, "_I'm_ Kankuro."

"And _I'm _Temari._" _Said Temari, sounding OOC.

"And _I'm _psychotic- I mean, Gaara." Said Gaara, also sounding OOC, but clamped his mouth shut when he realized how he was speaking.

"I'm Shikamaru." Then he turned to the SANDY PEEPS! And said, "I've only known you guys for about 15 minutes, but that was a little weird."

Temari nodded.

Shino stood there and repeated to her, "… I don't like math."

"WE DON'T FRIGGIN' CARE!" screamed Kankuro wildly, flailing his arms as if it was a big deal.

Bug boy (Shino, if you are an idiot) sent a scawy bug to bite Kankuro, but nobody noticed except for Kankuro whose hand was bleeding and had a destruction bug inside of it.

Of course, Shikamaru is the only person who knew about Shino having the destruction bugs, so he was the only one not confused. "That is troublesome, Shino…"

_I wonder what is troublesome… _thought Temari.

The sight of blood stunned the class, so they stayed… stunned. And silent.

The sight of blood delighted Gaara, so he stared intently at Kanky's hand.

"Blood." Said Gaara in his crazy voice.

Shino was thinking the same, but did nothing and pretended Gaara was a freak.

Everyone took a step back, just like when he did his happy dance. Yes, even the people sitting in their desks. No, of course I don't know how they did it!

"Gaara! Sit down." Said Temari, pointing at one of 5 desks that JUST SO HAPPENED to be there.

Back in the land of Oz. Wait, back in Konohagakure not Oz! How silly of me.

"Hey… were is Shikamaru?" Ino asked her remaining teammate absentmindedly as she trained.

"I don't know!" sobbed Asuma. "Just because I'm Jounin, why do you assume I know _everything_!"

"I was asking Chouji." Ino frowned.

"I don't munch know either. I haven't seen him munch all day." Said Chouji.

Just then, Team 8 (minus Shino) walked in!

"Hey, have you guys seen Shino?" asked Kurenai.

Kiba yelled, "HE'S MISSING! BWAHAHAHA!"

Hinata whispered, "Y-yeah…"

Just then, BAKI walked in!

"Hey have you guys seen my team?" he asked.

Everyone stared at him, forgetting Kiba's outburst.

"Who are you!" Kiba asked. Lot's of asking, no?

"I'm Baki." Said Baki.

Everybody just looked confused.

"Whatever! MY team is missing too!" He said in exasperation.

EVERYBODY ACCEPTED THAT! And so they all went to look for their missing teammates.

Back in the classroom of EVIL

Gaara argued for about 10 minutes concerning sitting in the chair, but got bored and sat down, still eyeing Kankuro's hand. IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD!

In fact, all of them sat down. Soon, the whole class was back to their normal gibbering. But Kankuro was clutching his hand in terrible pain because there was a bug tearing apart the inside of his hand.

"Hello class. I trust that you were good while I was out?" came a voice from the door.

Temari, Shikamaru, Gaara, Shino, Kankuro the class, all looked up to see a generic schoolteacher lady. You know, with the bun and stuff? Yeah. That.

"Students. I am going to teach and _you_ are going to learn. Whether you like it or not! If it takes cramming it down your throat, I will do it! Nothing can stop it but the chance of my trying so hard it kills you. And death is your only escape…. Don't get any ideas, for I have locked the doors and windows and removed all sharp objects from the room, even your pencils…" (I stole this from a movie called The Teacher on stupid dot com. Don't sue me. Pleeeeaaaaassse.)

"Um, what about these?" said Kankuro foolishly, holding out some kunai and shuriken in his bleeding hand with a bug in it.

The class gaped like the morons they are. Shikamaru slapped his forehead and sighed. A song of sixpence, pocketful of rye. Or course, that makes no sense, so forget it.

The teacher was about to take them when she was crushed in sandy sand of SANDINESS from Gaara, It made an icky mess.

At this point, most of the students clapped at the death of their teacher, whilst Gaara smiled evilly.

"So what now?" asked Shikamaru to no one in particular.

"I say that either we find a way out of here, or go and find something better to do." Said Temari.

"Or we could make my hand stop bleeding." Said Kankuro meekly.

Shino mentally commanded his bug (who happened to be name Yakesan) to get out of Kankuro's open hand wound.

The bloody bug climbed back into Shino's sleeve. Gaara raised an eyebrow noticing the bug, but Shino, being Shino, ignored him.

_Don't worry Yakesan. I won't let him step on you. _Shino told his bug. In his miiiind.

_That boy is noisy like Kiba… _Yakesan stated quietly.

_Hm. I don't trust any of them, not even the lazy child. Which reminds me, when will we go and save Annie-chan?_ Said Mohari, another bug.

Abruptly, all of Shino's billions of bugs started to chatter in his head.

"Shut up, will you?" Shino told his bugs out loud. Not on purpose of course, but he was ticked off hearing so many voices in my head.

His four companions all looked at him. That was the longest thing he had said all day!

"Hey Shino," said Kankuro teasingly because he is a jerk, "Talking to the voices in your head?"

"Kankuro!" Temari gasped, acting as though his rudeness was simply ASTOUNDING.

Shino looked straight at him and said, "Yes." And then he continued his conversation with his bugs.

"No you weren't Shino." Said Temari.

He didn't even move.

"Actually," said Shikamaru boredly, "He was." He was too lazy to elaborate any further.

Now, just to clear things up, Shikamaru is not like Shino's friend or anything, he just knows he is an Aburame because they were in the same academy class.

"…" Said Shino, very annoyed at having to hear Shikamaru's voice. But only Gaara noticed his annoyed ness, for he has demonic powers.

Well, that's not the real reason. I just think it's funny to make a fool out of them all. I will translate the meanings of their silence.

Gaara replied to him, "……" _His voice annoys me too. It's so bored that its weird._

"…?" _You understand my silences?_

"…." _Yup._

"…!" _Finally!_

"…?" _Anyway. What did annoying voice mean by that?_

"…" _Oh. I'm an Aburame. I'm filled with destruction bugs._

"… …?" _Destruction bugs? Don't think I've heard of them. I have a demon in me though. Mother needs me to get her blood._

"…" _So that's why you can control sand like that… I wish I could get away with pointless killing sprees… but anyway, at least you don't have _billions_ of voices urging you to kill things when you can't. Oh. And how many ways do you think I could have killed that hall monitor with a straw?_

Temari looked over to see the two crazy children staring at each other.

"Um. Gaara?" she said in confusion.

"Can't you see I'm having a conversation!" Snapped her brother angrily, before staring back at the creepy leaf genin.

Kankuro cocked his head. _Leave it to him to make friends with a mute… _he thought before being wrapped in chakra enforced sand as a demonstration for Shino.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!Diviiiiision!

And that is the end of this new chapter! We have learned that when it comes to not speaking, Shino is very sociable, as well as Gaara! This story is not ShinoxGaara, so don't ask. They will be somewhat friends or something though. Kankuro will have no pairing, mainly because he is ugly, and later I'll make a ShinoxOC story. But that will be waaaay later. Oh, I'm starting another story right now, but it won't be humor. And it will have **PARAGRAPHS**


	3. Free of the Schoolhouse

Welcome to chapter 3 of TRB5. In this all new expansion, they LEAVE THE SCHOOL BUILDING! And what's Baki got in his pocket? Oh, and by the way, I finally caught up on my Naruto manga reading: I take back what I said on the ugliness of Kankuro. Without the paint… HE ISH TEH HAWTNESS!1!1! I have discovered the errors of my ways… but right now for the sake of humor, he is going to remain an obnoxious idiot.

Disclaimer I forgot on the last two chapters- I don't own Naruto. I have an original character, but she hasn't gotten a full name OR a story, so don't expect to see her soon. I have drawn her a few times though. Maybe I'll join deviant art. But don't expect that either. I have the Shikamaru Disease.

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"…" said Shino. _Wow. Your sand is versatile._

Gaara replied out loud, "Yeah," as he released Kankuro.

For a few moments, everything was silent, until a student in the classroom asked, "What are you guys doing, anyway?"

"Not much," answered Temari absentmindedly, "The five of us are all waiting for the jutsu that sent us to this dimension to be canceled, or for the user to run out of chakra so-"

Shikamaru interrupted, "Actually, the jutsu is probably already done. If it isn't canceled, or if it doesn't have a set time, we could be here forever."

"The jutsu is _done_?" Kankuro yelled incredulously, "What the hell do you mean!"

"Think of it like a bunshin. You only need to create it once, and after that you don't have to continue adding chakra. Then the jutsu is done." Shikamaru pulled out a scroll labeled'Kankuro is an Idiot: Scroll 1', diagramming what he said for the ever stupid Kankuro.

"When did he make those…" muttered Gaara to himself.

Gaara's intelligence challenged brother grumbled about nursery rhymes and ignored him.

"Why did you tell that to a bunch of children in an alternate dimension?" questioned Shino, as everyone else has had something to say but him until now.

Shikamaru, Kankuro, and Gaara deadpanned.

"I really don't know." Temari said slowly. She hadn't really been paying attention, and under the circumstances, neither would I.

She glanced at the class. All of them were like, O.o –WTF?

Suddenly, all of them leapt out the window like Power Rangers.

And still, there is the question of how they all just KNEW when to do it… How! HOW!

A child in the back of the classroom stood up after a long, awkward silence.. "We are never to tell anyone of what we witnessed here today."

"Agreed," Chorused his classmates solemnly, before going out to pahty all night.

_In Konoha Borona Fee Fie Foe Telephona in my BONA! AAAHHH- Owie……_

"We couldn't find them. But, I had a cold and it-" Kiba started.

"Stuff it Kiba!" said Hinata ferociously.

"…What?" Poor, po' Kiba.

"Kiba-kun, I-I'm s-s-scared…" stuttered Hinata, going back to normal.

Kiba blinked in confusion and said as he put an arm around her shoulders, "I'm sure they are all ok!"

"Yeah, they most definitely didn't die horrible deaths at the hands of enemy ninjas." Said Sasuke sarcastically.

In case you are confused, listen up. All the jounins, Baki, and the genin 9 minus Shikamaru and Shino, are at the bridge discussing what to do next. Oh, and I don't know Baki's personality at all.

"OHMYGAWD IT IS A N00B!" screamed Ino randomly.

Next to her stood a n00b. I guess it wasn't so random after all.

"i am nottehn00b i hatez0rs u!1!11one mah spiffnez wil skwish u lyk pankeke!1!1!11one" screamed Nottehn00b back at Ino.

Suddenly, Kurenai transformed into SUPER LITERATE MODERATOR GIRL! Kurenai was then a 13 year old girl! Her outfit turned a blinding shade of… grey… and SLMG was on the front like SUPERMAN! He is so cool. But not as cool as TRB5. Or Super Literate Moderator Girl.

"NOTTEHN00B! FEEL THE WRATH OF SUPER LITERATE MODERATOR GIRL! MY GRAMMATICAL CORRECTNESS SHALL DESTROY YOU!"

"noes the gramerr ish teh burnz0rs ow pane"

Whilst the amazing grammar of Kurenai, Super Literate Moderator Girl, destroyed Nottehn00b, the others stared on in amazement. Or maybe not. These are their thoughts…

_I wonder where Shikamaru is. He was supposed to buy bring me and Chouji to the BBQ place… _thought Ino.

_FOODFOODFOODFOODFOODFOODFOOD… _thought Chouji.

… _Kurenai seems different somehow… _thought Asuma.

_YOUTH! _Thought Lee and Gai.

_I need to get a last name. Hyuuga Tenten sounds good. I know! I'll marry Hinata! Actually… no. I think Neji would be a better choice… _thought Tenten.

_I'll bet the main house sent that n00b! I hate them! They dared put this accursed seal on me! I ought to put live chickens in their pillows! Yes… perfect… _thought Neji.

_And I thought Gaara was weird. _Thought Baki, pulling a penny out of his pocket and dropping it on the ground for NO REASON! OH MY GAWD! A COMPLETE WASTE OF GRAVITY!

_Where could Shino-kun be? I used my Byakugan, and Kiba-kun used his doggie nose, but still nothing! Maybe Naruto-kun could help..._Thought Hinata.

_Finally Shino is GONE! Now I don't need to worry about him trying to be the leader! Or sharing Hinata… _thought Kiba.

Almost writes angst, but stops self _Peculiar endeavors arise as this day comes to pass. Too bad I don't really care about the missing students! I could probably figure it out! Oh well. I think I'll go out for ice cream later… _Kakashi thought.

_I could beat all of these people easily. Especially Naruto. _Thought Sasuke.

_Whoa, a n00b! I didn't think they were any more than legend! ... Ooh, I bet Sasuke is thinking about beating me again… Well I'll show him! _Thought Naruto.

"HEY MORON! DIE!" screamed Naruto, flogging Sasuke with… Baki's penny. He found it on the ground. It was very efficient, and did tremendous damage being 4 centimeters of flat copper/nickel/iron.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!" cried Sasuke in sheer agony as the coinage came in contact with his pallid skin. The broad collared boy blacked out.

"Heh. That'll- OOF!" Naruto was interrupted by Nottehn00b being thrown into him. Kakashi, Asuma, and Gai promptly pointed at Kurenai, simultaneously saying, "She did it."

_Outside the school in a pile of shattered glass_

_From this point until I say I will, I won't be translating Shino. Just leave that to Gaara._

"… I… I was suddenly overcome by the urge to leap out a window." Said Shikamaru slowly.

"What just happened!" Temari screamed angrily.

"We just jumped out a school window?" Said Kankuro helpfully.

"…" said Shino.

"You're right. It was a mutual subconscious decision. " said Gaara in reply, even though he had NO CLUE what Shino was talking about. But when does anyone.

"I'm bored." Said Shikamaru.

"I'm boreder." Said Kankuro for the sake of arguing.

"Boreder is not a word, Kankuro." Said Gaara.

"Is too." Kankuro defended weakly.

"Actually, it isn't." said Temari.

"No." said Shino in a creepy monotone voice, "But, we are all bored."

"Yes." Everyone said together in the same creepy monotone voice.

(And now, the moment you have ALL been waiting for…!)

"We are the REALLY BORED FIVE!" screamed Kankuro.

"I didn't know he could count." Shikamaru muttered.

"I can't. I heard Temari say that there was five of us earlier." Said Kankuro.

Shino turned around and stared at a rock. Gaara stared at Shino staring at a rock. Kankuro stared questioningly at Gaara staring at Shino. Temari stared gleefully at Kankuro, happy that he was listening to her. Shikamaru stared at Temari becuz she was hawt.

For no reason at all, Temari turned around to face Shikamaru (who jumped, fearing he was caught gawking at her) and asked, "So we have to be a _team_ because of Kankuro's mad ramblings?"

"It may be the only way to get home. So let's just go with it." Said Shikamaru, relieved he didn't have to deal with a screaming girl.

"'K then, Shikalazymaru." Said Temari. "What now?"

"I don't know. But I feel as thought today I have not expressed my laziness near as often as I usually do. How do you know I'm not just tired today?"

"The excessive use (more than once) use of the word 'troublesome', means that doing _anything_ that requires exerting energy of any kind is annoying to you. And you said that you were lazy in the last sentence." Temari recited, sticking out her tongue teasingly.

"Women are so troublesome…"

_Konoha, that abnormal place where there are too many orphans_

"Hey, Kurenai, how long could you do that?" asked Asuma after realizing just what was different about Kurenai and burying Nottehn00b DEEP in the GROUND.

"Do what?" she said obliviously.

"You know. _That. _Super Literate Moderator Girl."

"Oh, since I made a chat board yesterday."

"… 'Kay then..."

"What if Shino, Shikamaru, and Baki's students all were sucked up into an interdimensional portal caused by the Akatsuki? And now they can't get back." said Kakashi out of the blue.

"That's stupid!" said them all together as one big wave of sound which woke Sasuke up.

"Eh?" he said, sitting up.

"Eh." Said Gai.

"Eh…" Sasuke said, comfuzzl'd.

"EH EH EH EGG! EGG! HAH! HAHAHAHAHA!" Shriek-ed teh Green Beast of Konoha in a singsong… shriek thingy.

Our wide collared avenger was all like, Oo just like everyone else, including Lee.

"Gai," Kurenai asked slowly, "are you alright?"

"Hm? JUST FINE! I FEEL THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH!" If you didn't know who said that… I feel sorry for you. Not only was he addressed in the previous statement, I believe that there are only two people who would ever say that.

Kakashi repeated his previous statement.

"That's stupid." Said Sasuke, unaware this was said before.

"Is not. I bet that's what happened. In fact," Kakashi said, putting on an auctioneer's cap, "I'm taking bets. Now."

Everyone ran over and placed their bets. These are what they bet on:

Chouji, Hinata, Kurenai, Baki: Think they were taken against their will

Kakashi: I'm not repeating this again.

Asuma, Gai, Lee: Is that a tree or a bush?

Sasuke, Sakura and Ino (because Sasuke is always right), Neji, Tenten (Because Neji is always right): Think they are dead.

Naruto, Kiba: Think they walked off like idiots.

_Deep in the ground_

"Whoa… wait. Why am I in a n00b costume? Where am I? Hello? Help! HELP!"

_Elsewhere_

"bwaha I am teh nottehn00b fel mah wraf bawahaha!1!11!11! I sooo clever"

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That's a wrap! And that was lame. Heheh. Oh, aaand… please, _please, **PLEASE! **_review. I take everyone's opinions seriously, and if you request that I put something in I probably will. So, yah. Go on now. Review.


	4. What the heck?

Welcome to the fourth chapter. I have decided that I WILL translate Shino because so many people liked their hilariously funniful conversing of my previous story. Yup. Oh, and, soon I'll be going on to another dimension. In fact, chapter 5 is their last chapter in the 'normal world' dimension place. Lets just say the next dimension will be... wierd. But the smart people who think Shino and Gaara are funny will probably like it. This chapter is cracked, by the way. ONWARD!

Disclaimy: I don't own teh Naruto manga or anime. I made this story to give some characters fictional (-Psychotic-) personalities and make fools out of others, not to break copyright laws.

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"..." Shino said quietly. _We should kill them now. _

"...!" said Gaara, explaining. _No! My sister makes all of our money, I can't kill her! And Kankuro goes grocery shopping. I don't want to have to do that._

"...?" growled Shino. _Nn... so what are we going to do? _

"..." Gaara said. _Follow them around. _

Shino nodded as he stated, "..." _...Yes. Mooching is an effective art for antisocials like ourselves._

"Hey, we got here at like, 3 AM. Why were those students there?" Kankuro asked.

"This is a different dimension, moron." Gaara said icily.

"Shikalazymaru, I'm hungry. We are leaving for food. NOW." Said Temari, the annoying nickname from last chapter sticking because I keep accidently typing it.

"Ok." Shikamaru said.

His agreement angered Temari. She thought he would be angry she was naming and bossing him. Then again, she didn't know that Chouji was his best friend or that he had to deal with Ino. In fact, he was almost CONSTANTLY agreeing to go out for food and endure teasing from his other teammate.

"Aren't you annoyed?" She asked in frustration.

"No."

"Why not!"

"... my best friend was always hungry. **_Always._** Plus, Ino bothered me all day. It was more troublesome than you."

"Whatever, Shikalazymaru. FOOD TIME!" _Who's Ino? I'm hungry._

And Temari grabbed Kankuro and Shikamaru, pulling them to a resturant across the street called Stereo's. She was too scared to grab Gaara and his freaky friend, espescially since she was still wondering about the voices in his head.

Seeing a waitress she said rudely, "Food."

"Ah, yes ma'm. How many?" said the waitress politely. She didn't look much different from any other waitress.

"Five!" said Kankuro proudly.

"Good boy." said Temari, patting him on the head like she might a kindergardener.

The lady led them to their table, giving Kankuro a kid's menu.

"Hey! I don't want a _kid's_ menu!" he yelled defiantly.

"Of course you do!" cheered the waitress.

"I'll have the 'Meal Palz Macaroni and Cheeze'." the crazy puppet guy sighed after reading over the short list of foods.

"I'll have ice cream for lunch!" cried Temari.

"Uh... just bring me something." Said Shikamaru in monotone.

The waitress, whose name tag said 'Sally Stereotype', went to get their delicious foods after the other two strange children ignored her.

"..." said Shino. _I'm not hungry for any of this._

"..." said Gaara. _Neither am I. _

"...?" Shino said. _Ever noticed how food is always better when you got it by illegal means?_

"...yes..." said Gaara. _Oh, yes. I say we leave this _paying_ to Temari. We don't even know what the currency is here! Stupid if you ask me._

"Yes what, Gaara?" Temari asked.

"You should have listened to Shino's question, idiot." Gaara spat, turning his attention back to Shino.

"...?" Gaara queried. _Are we leave now? _

"...!" Shino replied. _Let's go!_

Shino and Gaara abruptly stood up and walked out the entrance to the stereotypical resturant.

"Well, that was odd." said Shikamaru once he was sure they were out of hearing range.

"I've gotten used to him getting up and walking out in middle of things... What about the other guy?" Temari said.

"He's wierd." said Kankuro.

"This is troublesome..." he saw the pleading look on her face and sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you anyway. I don't really _know_ Shino, but whenever I see him he sort of just stands there. Sometimes people will forget that he is even there, and then he'll say something, scaring everybody."

"He's creepy, too." said Kankuro, looking at the macaroni that was suddenly in front of him.

"Hm... I have nothing to say... because my ICE CREAM IS HERE!" and so Temari attacked the poor bowl of ice cream.

"Disturbing AND troublesome." said Shikamaru, noticing he had no food, but didn't care. Because he's too lazy to care.

_Outside wherever the two mental case childrens are_

Shino and Gaara, using ninja abilities, robbed some store of it's supply of strawberry caramel squares, and proceeded to eat all of the sweet chewy cubes of yum inside of a dark, scary alley of DOOM.

When they finished eating all 9,364 strawberry caramel squares, Gaara decided that he was thirsty.

"I'm thirsty," he decided, hitting the wall of the alley with a red stained hand in annoyance. In case you were wondering, the STRAWBERRY caramel colored his little evil mitts.

"..." said Shino. _Let's go get some lemon slushies._

"Yeah!" said Gaara, promptly searching out a Slushie Stand.

_Meanwhile in Konohagakure, Village of the Hidden Leaf. Not that it's hard to hide a leaf though._

"Now that all the bets are taken... I have a mission! Bye!" and Kakashi ran of to... deal death or something. Tch, how would _I _know?

"...so... do we keep looking for them?" asked one of the people.

"I say we start an angry mob!" cried Naruto raising his pitchfork in the air.

"Naruto! Put that down right now!" scolded Sakura, slapping his hand, making him drop his 'weapon'.

"We don't have anything to be angry about anyway, baka!" said -you guessed it- SASUKE!

_In the court of law_

As it turns out, the bowl of ice cream sued Temari for assualt and battery.

She argued, "What the hell! A talking bowl of ice cream? Good God save me! Oh, and I didn't attack the bowl, I ate the ice cream."

Mr. Bowl retorted. "Yes, but I was injured! INUJURED I SAY!"

Shikamaru was called up to the stand.

"Did Temari attack Mr. Bowl?" Asked a lawyer lady.

"I FRIGGIN' OBJECT! OBJECT! OBJECT!" yelled Kankuro. They tied him up and dropped in the corner of the room after administering a rabies shot and some sedatives.

"Geez, this is troublesome..."

The lawyer lady coughed to get his attention.

"Oh yeah. Mr. Bowl's alleged 'injury' is a five year old crack-"

"What makes you think that!" cried Mr. Bowl.

"For I am the all knowing Shikamaru. Moving on, his injury is fake, the resturant should not have had such an old bowl, and she attacked the _ice cream_ and nothing more. Ice cream has no legal rights, as it is a popular edible substance. So there." Shikamaru crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue.

The jury screamed. "NOT GUIL-ITY NOT GUIL-ITY!"

Temari was free and Mr. Bowl was sent to prison for a year. The resturant was sued for keeping Mr. Bowl for so long.

Shikamaru and Temari carried Kankuro out and started down the street just in time to run into Shino and Gaara.

Both of them had lemon slushies, and their hands were covered in a red sticky substance.

"What were you guys doing?" asked Temari in fear and suspicion, leaving Shikamaru holding her less demonic brother.

"Eating." said Gaara.

Shikamaru dropped Kankuro on the ground before staring into the sky.

"..." said Shino. _Strawberry caramel. Lots of good strawberry caramel._

"Yes. Lots." Gaara said, not bothering to turn and look at Shino.

Temari moved away from them in horror.

Gaara glared at his sister, noticing her scarededness, "Haven't you ever had strawberry caramel before?"

"Oh." she said, relaxing.

"Cloud..." muttered Shikamaru.

Kankuro remained unconscious.

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Ok. What'd you think? Well. My updates are slow, yadda yadda yadda. I can't type any faster without this being riddled with errors! So... nyah!


	5. References! So many references!

I just realized that during the last few chapters, I said that Gaara raised an eyebrow. It has come to my attention that Gaara has NO eyebrows, just like Zabuza. I also know that Tsundae is not the hokage until after the chuunin exams, but she is funnier than that old guy, so she is the hokage now, even if it messes up my timelime. And I reference to video games a lot in this chapter. So just ignore it, ok? Good.

Disclaimamajig- I don't own Naruto, Breath of Fire II, Harvest Moon: FoMT, Tales of Symphonia, The Legend of Zelda (any of them), Legend of Heroes, Foamy the Squirrel, Resident Evil, Invader ZIM, 1, 2 Step, The Elevator Movie, 8BT, VG Cats, Mario, OR The Wizard of Oz.

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Shikamaru was enjoying staring into nothing in the middle of a sidewalk in front of a courthouse which was painted a pale green color that was really gross looking.

But his peace was shot down by an M16 and buried in a hole with macaroni and corn. A huge interdimensional portal sucked him up along with the rest of The Really Bored 5.

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Team eight stood in their clearing of training, Kurenai glaring them down with an evil smile on her face. Her hands were rested on her hips as she spoke to her students.

"Today, we are going to practice speed." the Jounin's smile widened as she spoke.

Hinata quivered. Kiba cringed. Akamaru made a little growling noise in his sleep. Shino... Shino shino-ed while thinking about how it felt like somewhere, in some other time, he is being sucked into an alternate dimension with four random people, and that his personality is psychotic and evil there. It was a very strange feeling.

Kurenai noticed how that creepy student of hers was now staring off into the sky instead of her general direction. Kiba and Hinata noticed too because we DEFINITELY don't want them to be left out.

Suddenly, Shino was overcome with the urge to shove Kiba. He decided to blame it on his alternate self and shove Kiba. So he did.

"HEY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?" Kiba screamed in anger _bu-ut_ _mostly_ suprise.

"I don't know. It wasn't really a conscious descision." Shino said quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Kurenai curiously.

"..."

And a random hole in time appeared right next to them, spitting out the evil Shino we all know and love, along with Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, and Shikamaru.

Shikamaru frowned. "It would appear we are in a different version of our original dimension. How troublesome."

"Butterfly?" said Temari in confusion.

"Wah? No! Another Shino!" Kankuro cried when he saw alternate Shino and Shino. He woke up during the interdimensional travel. That tends to happen.

"... I hate you, Kankuro. Go back to sleep." said Shino, hitting Kankuro over the head with a large pointy stick.

Kurenai looked astounded. Where did he get that stick?

"..." alternate Shino said to himself. _I knew it._

"..." asked Gaara. _Knew what?_

"...?" alternate Shino asked. _WTF? How do you understand me?_

"..." said Shino. _The same way he understands _me

"...?" said alternate Shino, who I will now refer to as alter Shino so I don't have to type 'nate'! _And how is that?_

"..." said Gaara. _I dunno. _

"..." said Shino. _We randomly met in an alternate dimension able to understand eachother. I'm still wondering how many ways I could have killed Daryl with a straw._

"..." alter Shino mused. _Maybe you could keep a notebook and whenever you think of a way to kill him you could write it down._

"Yeah." said Gaara.

Meanwhile, Kiba was freaking out.

"GOOD GAWD WHAT IS HAPPENING! HELP MEH! THE VAMPIRE CHEESES ARE COMING! LIMBURGER WILL HAVE OUR SOOUUULS! NO! THE T-VIRUS! WE MUST ESCAPE THE HIVE! Aww, a flower... GAH! MY LEG BENDERS! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! SAUSAGE! NANEEENANEEENANEEE! USE THE POWER OF ROCK AND ROLL! POWER CHORD!SQUIRRELY WRATH!" (almost everything in there is copyrighted. The nanee thing is strictly mine, though. XP)

Hinata went into shock.

"Gaara, shut this guy up!" Temari said, referring to Kiba and ignoring the fact that Gaara was talking to the Shinoes.

Gaara started towards him and Temari realized the error in her wording.

"And _DON'T_ KILL HIM! ISN'T A TEACHER, A HALL MONITER, AND A RECEPTIONIST ENOUGH FOR YOU!" Temari screamed frantically. Just then a pig flew out from behind a cloud, it's downy wings flapping as lazily as Shikamaru walks. Everyone gazed at it's perfection before realizing just what it was.

"H-how ss-strange..." said Hinata, coming out of shock.

Shino decided not to watch Invader Zim before he went to bed ever again.(If you didn't get that, you don't watch enough IZ. Seriously. I'm referring to the crazy amounts of 'piggies' in that show.)

"...Outrageous, so contagious, make you crave it, Jazze made it, so retarded, top charted, ever since the day I started, stroke my stuff, and yes I flaunt it, goodies make the boys jump on it, no I can't control myself, now let me do my 1, 2 step..." mumbled half asleep Kankuro.

Suddenly... Gaara glared at Kiba! Kiba glared back! Shino glared at Kiba but Kiba couldn't tell! Then Gaara glared as hard as he could until Kiba fell down on his butt, waking up Akamaru who was sleeping in his jacket.

Then Kiba made a cute lil chibi pout face. Hinata stared. Kurenai stared.

"What is going on?" Kurenai said.

"Well, we are from another dimension with similar inhabitants as yours." said Shikamaru because he was the only person who really had a clue.

"Huh. That's wierd. I'm afraid I'll have to tell the Hokage." Kurenai said suspiciously.

"It's quite troublesome, but go on and do it. Maybe it'll get us closer to our own dimension."

And so, they were off to see the Hokage!

They skipped and sang- actually, Kiba, Hinata, Temari and Kurenai did. Everyone else walked. Well, Shikamaru more so ambled along slowly, lagging behind... but that's beyond the point.

_The Hokage's office tower thingy- lobby. _

"Welcome to the Hokage's office! How may I help you?" asked the receptionist.

Temari glared, her unnatural hatred of receptionists boiling over. Who could ever hate a receptionist! REALLY!

"I need to speak with the Hokage concerning interdimensional travel." Kurenai told the receptionist.

"Ah, yes. Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but this is urgent." Kurenai pointed at the two Shinoes.

"That IS urgent. Go on in."

Even though it could have been a bunshin, the stupid receptionist let them into a huge hallway.

_The Hokage's office tower thingy- hallway._

"We are lost already." said Gaara.

Hundreds of doors stood identical, lined on either side of the hallway, each opening into another room.

"Of course we're not!" said Kurenai, preparing to open the first door on the left.

Slowly the door creaked open. Inside was... Sasuke! OMG!

It was that store where the Uchichas got all the stuff with fans on it! Currently, he was examining Uchicha fan shirts. They had smaller collars than the one he usually has.

"..." said Shino. _I find that rather disturbing._

"..." said agreed alter Shino. _Quite._

"..." Gaara frowned. _Are all the Uchichas that obsessed with themselves?_

Gaara wasn't from Konoha, but the Uchicha symbol is known worldwide, even in Gaara's desolate desert abode.

"..." Shino suggested. _Maybe that's why Itachi killed them all._

"...?" asked Gaara. _Who?_

"..." alter Shino explained. _Itachi is that kid's older brother. The older kid massacred all the Uchichas but that guy over there. A bit stupid, because now his little brother is bent on killing him._

"..." Gaara said. _That _is _stupid! _

"..." Shino said._ Oh well. Sasuke will never beat him. He'll probably do something lame, like join an evil guy and come back to Konoha a shell of who he once was, never to defeat Itachi until he comes out of his psychologcal state and defeats him because he is a main character._

Gaara said, "..." _Hm. Wait, what! Main character? _

"Wah? Hey, what are you people doing here!" Sasuke cried, noticing them.

Gaara and alter Shino pondered Shino's reference to the **Fourth Wall**, not caring about Sasuke.

"Looking for the Hokage's office." Kurenai said.

"Well keep looking! Scat!"

And they did.

"Let's try this door." said Temari, opening the third door on the right.

The room was filled with files. Files on every ninja in Konoha!

"Wrong room!" said Temari, and shut the door.

Shino looked down the hallway. There was a huge teak door with an intricate sign that said **_Hokage's Office_**.

"..." Shino said. _Hey. Hey, Gaara. Is that it?_

"Maybe..." Gaara muttered.

He shoved everyone down the hallway with sand, stopping them in front of the door.

"Where ever could it be?" Gaara said in a fakey voice.

"I dunno." said Temari.

"..." Gaara was stunned.

"It must be this one!" said Kankuro, now awake.

He pushed open the door opposite to the one that said **_Hokage's Office_**.

Everyone walked into the room, even the confused Gaara and the Shinoes. Wow! They could be a rock band! Sorta! Kinda. Not really. No... (Sorta kinda not really no is MINE. ALL MINE. So don't use it without permision.)

The room was empty save a lamp on an end table in the center of it, 'it' being the room, not a homicidal clown.

Everyone walked towards it dramatically.

Suddenly, a doo doo doo dooooo! was heard. A huge light shone in their faces. As it died down, a mysterious voice cried, "You've found a note from Princess Peach!"

On the note it said,

_Dear Ryu,_

_I managed to stop Bow from killing all those wild boar that are automatically cut and ready-to-cook after they die, but that kid from Mineral Town won't quit giving me stuff! Is he hitting on me! He never says anything, but I seem to know what he's thinking! It's creepy! Oh, and Mile, that kid with the boomerang, broke your exsphere. Please hurry back from inside the whale since you wouldn't let me come,_

_-Katt_

"What does THAT have to do with anything?" asked Temari.

Then four wierd guys walked in.

One was a thief. One was a warrior. One was a black mage. One was a red mage. Wow... seems a bit familiar to our FF and 8BT fans, no?

"SEE! I told you idiots that somebdy would get here first!" said the black mage.

"I'll just steal it from them, Black Mage." said the thief.

"Or I could make a plan!" said the red mage.

"Yeah! Red Mage's plans always work!" said the warrior.

"Just shut up Fighter. Just shut up." said Black Mage, sighing.

"Okay buddy old pal!" said Fighter.

"I'll make a plan!" said Red Mage.

"I'll just steal it from them. You're plans never work." said Thief.

"Do what you are going to do before I **_HADOKEN _**this place to bits." said the Black Mage.

In the blink of an eye Thief took the paper.

"I still can't figure out why in the world she wanted this..." muttered Black Mage, and they left.

Everyone else (You know. The ninjas.) left the room and accidently walked into the Hokage's Office.

"What a coincidence." said Kurenai.

Gaara sighed. The only adult around was _completely_ stupid.

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Please pardon my excessive references this chapter! PLEASE! I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! WAAAAH! Ok, I'm done. You can leave now.

Seriously. You can.

Are you still here? Scram!


	6. Kitty!

Oh my gosh. It's the newest chapter. You know, you should read it! Go on! It'll be fun! Oh, and I don't know how to spell Tsundae. Or Tsunadae. OR WHATEVAH! Just somebody tell me.

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"Welcome... to my evil lair! I mean, uh, o-office, hehehe..." said Tsundae as the mass walked in.

"..." muttered Gaara. _Who the hell is that?_

"..." said Shino. _Nani? I thought Sarutobi was the hokage!_

"..." Gaara said. _Well, it _is_ another dimension._

"..." said our dearest psychotic bug... guy... thingy... _I guess so. _

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! IT'S THE RED CROSS!" screamed Kankuro for no reason.

Everyone else was like, 0.o;

"So. What do ya' want?" said Tsunadae.

"Um..." started Hinata timidly.

"Wellyousee,thesefivecamefromanotherdimensionandallsortsofweirdcrapandtherewasthepigwithwingsandGIRwasthereandateatacoandthehatandyeah." said Kurenai UBER QUICK.

"What?" said Tsunade.

"What she means is that Gaara, Shino, Kankuro, Temari and myself all came from another dimension and would like some assistance. Plus we saw a flying pig." recited Shikamaru.

"A flying pig, eh? Those are getting pretty rare around here. Well, you guys can just stay in an apartment until I figure something out. Heh, figure! If I put a 'sh' in front it says 'SHIGURE'! Haha!"

"I like apartments." said Kiba.

"Bark." said Akamaru.

"WHAT DO _YOU_ KNOW!"

"... ok... where is this apartment?" asked Temari.

"Oh right. Just look for the building that says 'Rent-a-Room' on it in huge neon yellow letters. You can't miss it."

They DID find the apartment, and left the alter Team 8 behind.

"So. We have an apartment. WITH THREE ROOMS FOR FIVE FREAKING PEOPLE! But at least each room has two beds!" said Temari as cheerfully as one could say such a thing.

One room was very small. The beds were cat beds. The walls were pure white and was unfurnished besides the bed and a small table with a lamp on it. Everyone made Kankuro stay in there.

Temari declared that since Gaara and Shino were bestest friends, they get a boring room with two beds and a huge TV with no cable.

So it was that Shikamaru was trapped with Temari. Not that he minded avoiding the others, but he would rather have the cat beds then to be stuck with her. In... a room thingy.

Now, their room was different than the other two. It was huge, lavish, and had a closet! But nobody had their stuff. Either way, everyone went to their rooms.

**Gaara and Shino's Room**

Shino pulled a gamecube out of his pocket and hooked it to the TV.

"You never know when you'll need one." he explained quietly when he caught Gaara staring at him funny.

"Whatever. What games do you have?" asked Gaara.

"..." Shino listed. _Let's see... Super Monkey ball, Narutimate Hero III, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, Grand Theft Auto specia nonexistent Gamecube edition, The Sims Busting Out, and Soul Calibur II. Those are just the ones in my pocket. I also have my laptop with me, too._

"SOUL CALIBUR!" Gaara cheered.

"..." said Shino. _I shall play as... TALIM!_

"..." said Gaara ackwardly. _... er... why?_

"..." Shino boasted. _For I am the master._

"..." cried Gaara dramatically. _Right... then I'll be Nightmare! Because Kankuro thought he was eating tomato soup when it was truly a red math book I put in the blender!_

Then the both of them burst out laughing and turned on the game.

**Kankuro's... roomish thingy**

Kankuro put the two cat beds together into a little tent so he could be better protected from his freezing white room.

"Stupid jerks putting me in here..." he muttered as he huddled in the corner of his room. Ish thingy.

Snow started to fall from the air conditioning vent. Soon it was as if he was lost in the tundra.

"How will I survive?" he wondered aloud.

As he spoke, a huge shadow rose from the snow.

"Wha... what... whawhawhawha..." stammered Kankuro.

It was a pack of wild cats, their huge, glistening chibi eyes shone blue in the darkening night. I mean room!

The cats beckoned to Kankuro.

"Boy-of-the-puppet! Join us! Join us!"

Kankuro crawled forward and was soon accepted as a fellow cat! Boy-of-the-puppet curled into a ball and purred.

**Shikamaru and Temari's room**

Temari and Shikamaru stood ackwardly upon hearing the insane laughter of the two crazy children, and what Temari swore was purring.

"Shikalazymaru... do you think we should have put Shino and Gaara in a room? What if they go all homicidal! Or worse!"

"Hn. Who cares?" said Shikamaru, choosing the fluffier of the two beds and curling into it.

He was almost instantly asleep.

Temari got into the other bed and slept as well.

**Gaara and Shino's room**

Shino, after about three seconds of listening to game music, pulled a radio with all sorts of hugemongo speakers out of his pocket. He then turned it to some random heavy metal station and turned it up really LOUD.

"So, Shino. Want to make this interesting?"

"..." asked Shino wryly. _Are you making a bet?_

Gaara made a little 'heh' sound.

"..." said Shino, sounding all business-like. _Hm. Fine. If I win, you have to talk out loud until the next dimensional shift. _

"..." screamed Gaara. _What? NO!_

"..." Shino taunted. _Scared you'll lose?_

"..." Gaara growled. _Of course not. You are on! If _I _win, you have to stop wearing your sunglasses until the next dimensional shift._

"..." said Shino competitively. _Bring it, bastard._

They each grabbed a controller and the horrible all out matches begun.

Talim, armed with a Soul Edge (Complete) stepped forward.

Nightmare, holding his Requeim blade glared her down.

Unaware to Gaara, while they stood off, Shino entered the horrendously long string of buttons a uber powerful attack. "MONSOON SEASON!" cried Shino in triumph as Talim ran forward and dealt some -70 HP doom to Nightmare. (for those of you who know, Monsoon Season _does _do forty damage, but if you input the correct addition with the right timing it it adds and extra throw doing 30 damage.)

Gaara tried a Hit Impact after recovering, but Shino sidestepped, and slid into Wind Sault stance and pulled a Double Bartikal and instantly tacked on a horizontal strike. Nightmare was dead.

"I'll beat you second round..." muttered Gaara.

With a smirk, Shino (Talim) ran towards Nightmare and hit the horizontal strike repeatedly. Nightmare didn't have time to recover and strike back, and was caught in the string of hits. There was no escape! No way out! Soon, Talim's low offense whittled Nightmare's HP to zero. Shino had won.

Gaara fell to his knees and cried.

**Temari and Shikamaru's room**

Temari stirred at the sound of sobbing. In GAARA'S ROOM.

"What the... Shikalazymaru, wake up!"

"Nnn... give me back that cookie! Aw, hey, I was eating that... well, Chouji probably has some..." Shikamaru said in his sleep.

"SHIKALAZYMARU!"

"WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY HOW! OMG INO! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR! IT WAS FINE BEFORE! YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! AND YOUR BANG(s)! GONE! WHY! WWWHHHHYYYY!" screamed Shikamaru frantically in his half asleep state, flailing his arms.

Then he abruptly sat up. "Hey..." he drawled, "Whaddya want? I need sleep."

"Somebody is crying." said Temari, trying to get over his spaz attack.

"So?"

"In Shino and Gaara's room. Come with me."

"Troublesome..."

"Come on."

"No?"

"COME ON."

He pretended to be asleep again. So she dragged him along.

Temari stared at the sight before her.

Gaara looked up her teary eyed. "He... he schooled me in Soul Calibur II." he said, trying to stop crying.

Shino sat in the background schooling the weapons master mode for the 723rd time.

**Kankuro's roomish thingy**

Kankuro meowed softly. In his short time here, he learned to speak their language and befriended a white fluffy kitten with chibi blue eyes called 'One-of-the-long-claw', or just 'Long-claw' for short.(Haha! LONG claw for SHORT! WAHAHAHAHAHA!)

He became a cat boy, and got a little hat with cat ears on it from somewhere, and got a tail. Both were black. He also added these things to his puppet. So he lived in the wilds of his apartment bedroom, hunting artic dust bunnies.

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Do NOT ask where I got the cat idea. I do not know. The Soul Calibur thing was suggested by JGC, who now has a fanfiction account, jgc123. I had to do A LOT of research for the Talim vs Nightmare fight scene, so don't steal it please. I shall try to update soon. And I don't know if this is 1000 words.


	7. giant talking tacquito

Yes... THE SEVENTH CHAPTER! IT BUUUURRRNNNSS! AAAAAAAAAHHHH- anyway, I was typing this in the late of nightness, so perhaps there is a a tiny wee bit of erroring... GAH. Good thing I have an editor now! jgc123, to be exact. Yay fo' meh, except my brother gave me a black eye this fine morn. NOW READ THE STORY!

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"Nn... can I go back to sleep now?" asked Shikamaru.

"Oh, fine!" said Temari, and dragged Shikamaru back.

Gaara returned to his normal, 'feh' state and went to go get a late night rare steak.

Shino on the other hand, needed a new game.

_I'll only be gone for a minute. _He told himself as he walked out the door.

Suddenly, a huge tacquito ran across the road screaming "NANEENANEENANEENANEE!"

Shino walked up to it and asked for directions to the closest game store.

"NANEENANEE Oh, just go down there," said the tacquito, pointing in some direction I will not specify, "Then turn left, ok? NANEENANEENANEE!"

Shino nodded and headed of in the unspecified direction and turned left. Lo and behold, there stood **GAME LAND**!

'Twas a beautiful sight. He entered the store, and a halleujah chorus played in the background. It was... beautiful!

He ran up to the counter. "I'll take a X-box, and X-box 360, a Playstation, a PS2, reserve me a PS3 and a Nintendo Revolution, get me 1 of all the handheld systems, memory cards for everything, a copy of every RPG, fighter, first person shooter, and adventure, plus an industrial size box of Airheads." he said in his normal quiet slow voice.

The pimply faced geek boy at the counter said, "Will that be all?"

"Duh."

And so the pimply faced geek boy at the counter left and got his stuff. Then he bagged it. Then he said, "That'll be half-a-million dollars, sir."

Shino pulled out half-a-million dollars out of his pocket and paid. YAY!

Back at teh apartment, Gaara was eating his steakedness of almost raw, dripping with teh blood.

"Hehehehe..." he 'heh-d' evilly, slowly cutting it with a dull knife... no, just kidding. He ate it like any normal psychotic demon carrier would: with a rusty bloodied fork.

After he finished his, um... delicious snack... he went back to his and Shino's room to find that his bestest friend was not there!

"OMG SHINO IS GONE!" he yelled.

Temari came running and saw the blood from his steak all over his face. Temari stared, crazy music playing in the background going 'DUN DUN DUN!' zooming closer to Gaara's face with each 'dun'.

"OMG GAARA HAS LOST IT! she spazzed.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Gaara.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Temari.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Shino.

They both stopped and looked at him.

"Well?"

"You... you were gone a-and the music... steak?"

"Sleeping... scream! and blood! Everywhere! Demon!"

"... you were sleeping and Gaara got a late night steak. When he got back, he screamed because I had left, and you ran in. His face was covered in blood from the steak and you both panicked." Shino explained.

"Um. Yeah..." Temari murmered.

"Hm." Gaara looked at the ground in shame.

"I thought so. Off to bed with you Temari."

Temari nodded like a scolded child and crept back to bed.

Shino brought all his new pwning stuff in and showed Gaara the airheads.

"..." Shino said. _Here ya' go._

"..." Gaara said. _Right. Thanks._

"...!" Shino reminded. _Nu-uh! You have to talk!_

Gaara growled, "Thanks." and went to enjoy his many, many airheads.

Shino on the other hand set upon his new games.

"First things first. Time to defeat Halo!"

Kankuro slept peacefully in his room.

Shikamaru and Temari were in a similar situation: ASLEEP.

Of course, in Konoha it was late at night, and parents were worried. Or not.

_The Nara Household_

Shikamaru's dad sat on the couch lazily.

"Nn, good thing mah wife's on vacation this week. Otherwise I couldn't enjoy this peacefulness." he said to Shino's dad, whose official name is Shibi, and I'm not kidding. Seriously. Pure canon info, man!

"My son doesn't make a difference either way." he said, moving his little Go piece.

"Good for you, man. Whatever my kid's name is complains almost as much as me!"

"... that's because nobody can complain as much as you."

"Right." he said solemnly.

_Ino's Room_

Ino wrote in her diary with neat cursive letters.

_Finally I can train without Shika bothering me! But I did hear that if Baki's team is with him, then he's with a girl! What if he stops being my personal slave! Could I handle that! Either way, Sasuke-kun smiled somewhere in my vicinity today, so I'm glad, but he got beat up with a penny. Gai scares me even more now..._

_Sakura's Room_

Sakura hugged her adorable teddy bear of horrifying CUTENESS. It had fur that was colored like uncooked pastry dough and had scary purple eyes. The pink ribbon around it's neck was soft and made of velvet.

"Oh, Schnookles... Sasuke smiled somewhere in Ino's vicinity today! What will I do? What if Ino-pig takes Sasuke-kun! Not only that but Naruto attacked Sasuke-kun and beat him with a deadly penny! It 'twas a horrid sight. And then Gai spazzed out and-"

"Sakura, go to bed!" screamed Sakura's mom, whoever she may be. We will refer to her as Moo from now on.

"STOP IT MOM! I'M TALKING TO SCHNOOKLES!"

"JUST GET RID OF THAT STUPID BEAR!" screamed Moo, "IT STARES AT ME! IT'S EVIL! EEEVVIIILLL!"

"NEVER!" she cried before turning her attention to her beloved teddy, "Schnookles, did you harass mom again?"

"Yeeess..." came a creepy whispery voice.

"Good my pet... good." she said evilly, stroking Schnookles' soft feathery fur.

_Hinata's Room_

"I hope Shino-kun is okay... if he's with Baki's team and Shikamaru he could be in trouble! He never did do too well in social situations..."

Hinata, being on his team, knew that Shino was rather evil. Normally he is calm, but if he gets angry...

**-Yes! My first flashback!-**

_Hinata and Shino were walking to training when some random teenage guy bumped into Shino._

_"HEY WATCH IT BUDDY! YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO ME!"_

_"Actually-" Shino started._

_"DON'T TRY AND BLAME ME! IDIOT!"_

_"U-um, excuse m-me, but-"_

_"SHUT UP GIRLY!"_

_Then the boy stepped on an ant._

_"STUPID BUG!"_

_"... don't call them stupid."_

_"Oh, why? Do you like bugs? Do ya'? I bet you do!" yelled the boy and stepped on another ant._

_"DIE!" screamed Shino and killed the guy with a massive torrent of bugs._

_"S-Shino-kun?"_

_"Come on, we must get to training." Shino said boredly._

**-The end of my first flashback-**

Hinata shuddered at the memory and tried to go to sleep.

_Kiba's House_

"Heh, I bet he's upset I stole his bug, so he ran away crying! HAHAHA!"

Annie glared at him. Where was her best friend Shino-kun?

In case you've forgotten, Annie is Shino's bug.

**Shino and Gaara's room**

So far Shino defeated all of the Halo games, got to the end of all of the Harvest Moon games (yes, even the neverending ones!) TWICE, defeated that bass fishing game, Call of Duty 1 and 2, and a few other shooters. He was having quite a time!

Meanwhile Gaara had eaten like, 100,000 Airheads.

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So, what do you think? Better when it is edited? Yah, I think so too. And now, we can have an ending commentary! YAY! '.,.' puppy!

Kalilamae: So, jgc123, what did you think of this chapter?

jgc123: I wish I had half-a-million dollars to spend on video games... and an industrial size box of airheads. O.o

Kalilamae: Yeah. That's be kewl. :O woooaahh...

jgc123: Oh so very. And I also wish I had a giant tacquito! BTW, my little sister taught me to spell tacquito. -

Kalilamae: Heh. Hehehe. HAHAHAHA- not funny. Anywhoness, I'm off and out! Morning comes next chappinter:

jgc123: I wanna know what happens to Kanky cat. Ja ne! n.n


	8. Breakfast time for TRB5

Ok, chapter 8, GO! Anyways, thank you Kuro Rei for telling me how to spell Tsunade. I warn you, this chapter will be stranger than normal. jgc123 basically wrote the whole thing. I gave guidelines as to what it would be about but... its very scary. Now... ONWARD!

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_It is now Morning as I did not wish to spend a chapter of sleeping, eating, and gaming people._

Kankuro stood up in the snow and stretched like a cat. You know, with the forelegs (his arms) way out in front of them and their back all archy? And the hugemongo yawny look? Yeh, that.

Then he looked down at his feline companions.

He meowed and petted their likkle heads.

Shikamaru and Temari somehow awoke simultaneously. It probably had something to with the Shino's screaming in the other room...

Gaara munched airheads and glanced at Shino. Yes, they lasted the whole night. Haven't you ever seen an industrial size box of airheads? Huge things, man. Just huge.

Shino screamed loudly because he fell asleep while playing his game (which he beat. Actually, he beat ALL of his new games.) and had a nightmare that Kiba killed Annie-chan! With Oust bug spray! THE OUST! IT BUUURRNNSSSS!

When he stopped screaming, Gaara asked, "Um. What?" He was used to speaking now, after their many conversations concerning pistol armed infantry against flame archers throughout the night There was also this thing about black mage killing Fighter with an Armoire of Invincibility, but that is another story. And BM dances on Fighter's grave. His INVINCIBLE grave!

"..." Shino sighed. _I had a dream that blacks and whites- I mean that Kiba killed Annie-chan!_

"Who?"

"..." Shino said. _Annie-chan was my favorite bug. Before I was sucked up in that crazy red and black portal, Kiba kidnapped her!_

"Ok. How horrible. Who is KIBA."

Shino, who looks like suspiciously like Auron from FFX, pulled out a picture of Kiba and Hinata because Shino carries around everything in his Pocket of Holding.

Kiba had a really evil look on his face that jgc123 might draw one day. Because evil is her specialty. Or was it chibi cats? Oh well. I forget. OH! And Akamaru and Hinata were in the picture, too, right? Well, they looked evil as well.

Anyway, from that moment on, Gaara hated Kiba. (Poor Kiba!)

Temari went to wake up Kankuro to find a frozen wasteland in the previously semi empty room.

"Kankuro? Hello?"

The feline Kankuro bounded up to her, a white kitten latched to his arm.

He hissed and bared his teeth (which are somehow all pointy now).

Long claw said, "HHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS! Hissy! Hiss. Ss."

"OMFG!" screamed Temari and hit her brother on the head. Her brother Kankuro, not Gaara of course, silly!

Everyone (and by everyone I mean Shikamaru) walked lazily into the room.

"What...?" Shikamaru muttered.

"MY BROTHER IS A CAT MONSTER!"

At this, Shino and Gaara walked in.

"No I'm not." said Gaara.

"Not you! Kankuro!" said Temari.

"Mrew." said Kankuro.

"That's weird." said Gaara.

"..." said Shino. _He's like the polar opposite of Kiba! Sorta! Kinda! Not really... no. But it _is _kind of creepy._

Kankuro's herd of white furred chibi-eyed cats came up behind Kankuro with a deafening cry of The Rockafeller Skank by Fatboy Slim!

The cats all screamed, "RIGHT ABOUT NOW! THE FUNK SOUL BROTHER CHECK IT OUT NOW! THE FUNK SOUL BROTHER RIGHT ABOUT NOW!"

"AAAAAHHHH! FATBOY SLIM POSERS!" Gaara fell on the floor screaming.

Temari fainted dramatically and squished poor Shikamaru who screamed, "Waaaaah!"

Shino did the only thing he could. He swiftly tied up Kankuro and jammed the all the cats (excluding the one on Kankuro's arm) down his throat.

Kankuro writhed around all over the floor screaming, "YOU MADE ME EAT CAT! AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Shino laughed evilly, but stopped abruptly as everyone started to come back to their senses.

"The fur... THE FUR!" Kankuro yelled.

"What in Texas hellfire is that boy talking about?" Temari wondered aloud in a southern accent. I'm borrowing/stealing that by the way, from hi-speed. The guy who makes True Naruto Style. Yeh.

Gaara glanced at Shino, who shrugged inoccently.

Shikamaru was squished. And confused. And wanted some food.

"Hey, can we eat breakfast?" asked Shikamaru because he was hungry.

"Sure!" said Temari.

Gaara untied Kankuro and all five of them went into the kitchen cheerfully.

The boys sat down at the table, including Kankuro even though he just ate. Cats.

Temari made pancakes! No, not cat pancakes. Just pancakes. With chocolate chips! Fwee!

While she was cooking, Shino realized something.

"..." he said bluntly. _Kankuro is gay._

Gaara ran to the fridge, poured some appley juices, took a sip, and sprayed it all over Shikamaru's face.

"WHAT!" cried Gaara incredulously.

"Gross..." muttered Shikamaru, wiping his face.

"..." explained Shino. _Well look at him! He wears make up. PURPLE make up no less. Not only that, but his nose is big._

"Wait... what does his nose have to do with anything?" asked Gaara slowly after a moment of confusion.

"Are you guys all talking about me meow?" Kankuro asked suspiciously.

"..." Shino said, ignoring him. _It's... big. _

"Okay. Sure. But what made you think he was gay BESIDES his nose?"

"...!" Shino said angrily. _His PURPLE FACE STUFFS! I ALREADY TOLD YOU!_

"Oh..."

"You ARE talking about me, aren't you, meow!" Kankuro accused.

Shikamaru started to eat his pancakes which were recently set in front of him.

"...!" screamed Shino. _PANKEKE!_

Gaara was like, O.o;

He knew his friend was weird, but this...

"But- I- it... Oh, whatever. Meow." Kankuro looked down at his plate in defeat.

Eveyone ate their pancakes of doom. (A/N: I want some doom pancakes, too!)

"So, does everyone like their pancakes?" Temari asked.

"Yes." said everyone, EVEN SHINO.

Temari was so proud that her pancakes were good enough for Shino to talk! What she didn't know is that Shino loves all pancakes. In his pocket he keeps an 'I love pancakes' pin. It's INSANE!

"..." Shino muttered in a creepy ragged voice. _Pancake... pancake... pancake..._

Gaara was a little creeped out. I know I would be!

"Shino, that's weird. Stop."

Gaara saying this caught everyone else's attention, which was odd because nobody noticed Kankuro meowing or the cat on his arm.

"..." Shino said quietly. _This is the one pancake to rule them all. It is... my preeecioussss..._

Gaara gaped. Yes. GAARA GAPED.

"Uhm, what is it Gaara?" asked Temari finally.

"... all-cay ah-they oony-lay in-bay..." Gaara whispered.

"I can't speak pig latin." Temari said.

"I can." said Shino.

"DIE!" Gaara screamed and smited the pancakes.

"...!" cried Shino. _NOOOOOO!_

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Ok, that has got to be the weirdest chapter yet.

jgc123: So, whaddya think Kalila?

kalilamae: I think you are stranger than I had originally thought. I LIKE IT!

jgc123: Phwee for me. Remember readers! Tell your friends to read it too, so that you may share splendid reference jokes! At lunch, all you need to do is say, "It's... big." and everyone will laugh! WHAT GREAT FUN YOU SHALL HAVE!

kalilamae: Great plan jgc! Now lets start chapter 9... hehehehehe...


	9. Hurry! Hide in that box!

YES! I LIVE! Ok, cut to the chase: Onward, men! Or women! Or... actually, I won't go there.

**Warning: This chapter contains much more cussing than any other chapter. I also warn you that Orochimaru is in this chapter- his existence is mentally scarring, Be careful.**

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Shino had a heart attack and fell to the ground in a fashion that suggests he watched the Most Horrible Christmas Ever and the lady was all, "My heart explodes with joy!" and she fall down all dead like.

Everyone stood in silence and stared at Shino laying dead on the ground. He died from pancake deprivation or something. I need more dead people.

Then he stood back up (A/N: Ooh! MAGICAL AGAIN!) and glared at Kankuro because he hates him. Darn, now I really need more dead people!

"What... just happened?" Temari wondered aloud.

"Shino just came back from the dead." Shikamaru said lazily.

"NO DUH! IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" screamed Temari, overreacting A LOT.

"...'k." With that, Shikamaru started to hum to himself. _'Bill Nye the Science Guy. Science rules. S-s-science rules. Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!' _Of course, this was hummed so no one heard the lyrics, but it was annoying nevertheless. Then suddenly... some crazy Texan with a chainsaw covered in fake blood ran up screaming "AAAAUUUUGGH!"

Everyone just looked at him, knowing that the blood was fake because of the intense violence at the beginning of this story. Plus Gaara was there.

"..." screamed Gaara in horror. _SWEET MOTHER OF SHINO! That's the fakest blood I've ever seen._

"..." Shino said, his burst of pancaky insaness wearing off. _I don't have a mother. And you forgot to talk out loud. I beat you fair and square..._

"Ok. Whatever." said Gaara, even though he was wondering were Shino's mother went along with the rest of us. Do any of you guys know? 'Cause I don't.

Because too many people have been all 'alive' lately and I'm kind of angry right now, Gaara killed the chainsaw guy with the closing off his fist. Shino fell into a fit of giggly giggles of GIGGLYNESS! Hee. (A/N: I was going to give him an intelligent monologue like he did in the manga chuunin exams, but since I warped his personality so much in this story it just wouldn't work.)

"You know, it wouldn't hurt if we actually tried to get back to our old dimension, you guys." said Temari randomly.

"Right..." said Shikamaru.

"Howzabout a liba-rary?" Kankuro said like an idiot.

"Mm-hm." Agreed Gaara.

AND THEY WERE OFF!

_With the Akatsuki_

"Shit." said Sasori.

"Fuck, yeah." said Deidara.

"Grr..." said Kisame.

"I'm ugly." said Zetsu.

"Damn." said Itachi sexily because whatever he does is sexy.

"Gluuuuuh." said Orochimaru in a bloody mess on the floor.

"What happened to the dimensional jutsu, yeah?" asked Deidara angrily.

"You screwed it up!" yelled Sasori.

"NUH-UH YEAH!" screamed Deidara.

"Zetsu did it!" said Kisame.

Everyone glared at Zetsu.

"What?" he asked, having not been listening to the conversation.

Everyone beat the crap out of him.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Orochimaru.

"You're gay." said Kisame.

"LET'S BEAT HIM UP, TOO!"

"Ah! Hell no! SHIT!"

And they beat him up, too.

Everyone sat in silence pondering the significance of the random beatings. Maybe. Time to read everyone's minds again!

Sasori thought, _I love to beat things. I know what I need! A BEATY UPPY PERSON THINGY! Nah, I'll just blame Zetsu for stuff..._

Deidara thought, _I wonder if anyone realizes that I'm a guy. What if one of them has a crush on me? NO! DAMN MY WOMANLY FEATURES!_

Kisame thought, _What the hell is up with Itachi? He keeps staring off into the sky! Or whatever!_

Zetsu thought, _Urgh... pure... unbridled... pain..._

Orochimaru thought, _I am so gay it's funny. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Heeheehee!_

Itachi thought sexily, _Sasuke is so pathetic. He is so bi, too. What an idiot. Girls rule, man! Especially Hinata. I'm not a pedophile. I promise. Why am I promising myself stuff? Whatever. _Then he activated his GLARE. Every girl within a 100 mile radius passed out from the sexiness of that glare. Including me. It was THAT sexy.

_Back with our Konoha Palz_

"AAAHH! HURRY EVERYONE! HIDE IN THAT BOX!" screamed Shikamaru insanely.

Everyone scrambled to get into the conveniently placed box because Shikamaru was always correct.

Once everyone was safely in the Ultra Undestroyable Box going stereotypically to Albeqerque created by a certain Professer Membrane (A/N: That's Dib the big head's father as fellow fan's of Jhonen C. Vasquez may know) in some other dimension they realized that they were locked in. Temari was wedged uncomfortably between Shikamaru and Kankuro. Kankuro had Shino on his other side. Gaara was stuck between Shino and the cold Titanium wall.

"Um... Shikamaru. Why did we all get in this box?" asked Kankuro, very unhappy about being next to Shino.

Then Temari passed out because she was a girl, even though she WAS in a different dimension.

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And they lived happily ever after.

Kalilamae: Ok, I cuss-ed too much. But they're the villains! They must cuss! Oh and I wanna see the glare!

jgc: But... from so close you might die!

Kalilamae: It would be worth it! Hey... did my support of ita/hina show through too much?

jgc: Yes. And WTF is with the box?

Kalilamae: Oh. It's a very special box. Very special. runs away with collection of Itachi pictures

jgc: O-kay. Creepy. Hehe. walks away slowly with Jaws music playing. Later, a scream along with maniacal laughter is heard in the distance


	10. Shikamaru the Pervert

Ok, here is chapter ten of TRB5! And since it is the tenth chappinter, they shall be changing dimensions! That last one was boring. But this one brings us back to- wait, never mind. If anyone has any recommendations, wants to cameo in this story, or has some bizzaro idea you think I would approve of, tell me in your review! I like reviews. They taste like yum. So review. ... p-please?

Anyone who wants to use a quote from or draw a scene from this thing, go ahead. (If it's a picture, email me a copy! n.n)

It's my personal promise that this will be mind numbingly stupid! YAY!

Disclaimer: No, but I will! Masashi Kishimoto is my uncle. He said I could have it for my birthday. No, not really, you dolts.

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Temari, passing out, flopped over sideways onto poor and insane Shikamaru.

"Meh?" He said.

"Shikamaru! What is your problem? And that's got to be the second time Temari has fainted! Meow." Kankuro said, even though last time I forgot all about his cat, who is on his head.

"... I like swooords." said Shikamaru.

"We're doomed, meow." said Kankuro.

"Wait... Why are we in this box? And what the crap happened to Temari?" asked Shikamaru.

Gaara and Shino shrugged. That one cat named Long Claw, but will now be called Fluffy because that's a funny name, shrugged.

"I blame Orochimaru." Kankuro said for no reason.

"Be quiet, someone is coming!" Shikamaru spoke-ed.

"So. How about them bears?" asked on guy outside.

"Who ARE you? Get away from me! I just need to deliver this box!"

"Heh. Bears."

"Um, whatever. Think you can help me lift this thing? It's really heavy."

"No."

"Okaaay then..."

The box carrier picked up the box of children when suddenly the other guy kicked him repeatedly in the shins! OH WHY!

The box fell to the ground, but the other guy caught it and ran away, leaving the other man injured on the ground.

"NYEHEHEHE!" screamed the man, "I'm a LEPER CON ARTIST!"

Then the box was sucked into another dimension. WOO!

"... huh." said the Leper Con Artist. Then he shot the bleeding man with a grenade launcher and giggled adorably with big chibi eyes.

_The other dimension_

A bunch of people were milling around in what seemed to be a cave when SUDDENLY an enormous portal opened up, and after a bunch of amazing dramatic music, a popping sound was heard, leaving the box on the ground.

"... what is that thing?" came one voice.

"A box, you idiot." muttered another.

"SHHH! Morons! There is something in the box!"

"Well, then open it." came a girl's voice.

One of them kicked the box mercilessly.

Soon around 50 people were pounding the box, simply caving in the sides and crushing the people inside. However, there were enough cracks to hear those inside. A scream of horror resonated throughout the cave.

"SHIKALAZYMARU YOU PERVERT!" screamed someone.

I think we all know what happened. Temari woke up sleeping against Shikamaru's shoulder. She overreacted as girls with rockets for hair do.

"Ow! I'm not a pervert... you are SO troublesome."

"Hehe, Shikamaru's a perv. Meow."

"Kankuro, you are stupid. What the... hey, are we somewhere else? HA! I don't have to talk anymore!"

"I HATE YOU SHIKALAZYMARU! PERVERT PERVERT PERVERT!" Punching and beating sounds are then heard, growing more painful with each scream.

"..." _Hm. I guess we did change dimensions. By the way, Gaara, why ARE you still talking out loud?_

"I guess there is FIVE of them!" said one of the people outside. "Hey, can you guys hear us?"

"Uh-huh." Shikamaru said before Temari continued her path to giving Shikamaru a concussion.

"..." Shino glared, half asleep. _Shut up._

"Why should I?" asked the aforementioned person outside.

"...?" Shino sighed. _Why does this scenario seem so familiar? Oh yeah. WHY CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

"..." Gaara added. _This is almost getting old._

"You aren't from here, are you. Here in Blordehourtsenmohck, we ALL talk that way. Usually. You've landed in middle of the reject pile." said a girl cheerfully.

"..." Shino said. _Oh. Then I must be asleep._

"..." said Gaara. _Actually, we're all awake. Mmyep._

_Down in Konoha where the old folks go _

Kiba walked down the street with Hinata and Kurenai.

"Soooo. Where do you think they all went?" asked Kurenai.

"Pff. They're probably all Shino's bizzare friends. All walked off. Like DUMMIES. Nyeh." Kiba said.

"U-um, I believe that they w-were stolen! Why else would 5 strong ninjas be gone! B-b-besides. Shino doesn't have a lot of f-friends." Hinata stuttered.

"Hm..." pondered Kiba, "Hey, you guys. If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?"

"Here's a better one! If a tree falls on Kiba in the forest, does anyone care?" snarled Hinata viciously.

"What?"

"N-nothing..."

"Oh, you silly children!" Kurenai smiled.

_Sakura's house of DOOM! Be warned that the following grammar is correct._

Shnookles watched mournfully as Sakura waved goodbye to go to training, though to all appearances the bear still had it's ridiculously large and psychotic grin on it's face.

He knew Sakura couldn't bring him out of the house. It was a danger to the girl. His presence almost always caused Sakura to lose her cool and convert to her true nature: Brash, loud, and pure evil. The others only bought her sugar coated attitude because all of her rage and anger was suppressed under the forces of Shnookles's power. Shnookles. The cuddly wuddly smiling teddy bear was the only thing saving the world. However, don't get the impression that he WANTS to save the world. It was the girl's choice. She didn't want to enslave all living beings on the planet. She didn't want to smile down with satisfaction at the blood pooling underneath the heads of her enemies. Yet.

(A/N: Holy crap, I've found my calling. PSYCHOTIC TEDDY BEARS! Wait, no...)

Outside of the house, Sakura was skipping merrily to her training, humming idly as she thought of the horrible destruction she would release on the world. Today was Sasuke's last chance. His last chance for redemption. His last chance for survival.

Dashing up to the boy, she folded her hands beneath her chin.

"Sasuke-kun! Will you come eat at the ramen stand with me tonight?"

"... hn."

"C'mon, pleeease?"

"No."

"Why not!"

"You are an annoying bitch.

"O-ok..."

Then she walked past him to the training area. Sakura sat down at the base of a tall tree and pulled out her diary.

_Death List:_

_Sasuke_

"Well, Sasuke-_kun_, you will be the first." she muttered, sighing contentedly.

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See what happens when I apply myself? TAKE THAT ENGLISH TEACHER! HAHAHAHA!

jgc123: ... cough

Kalilamae: So. Didja like it?

jgc123: I'm going to have nightmares about being trapped in a box with a teddy bear.

Kalilamae: Good. That's very good.

jgc123: No it isn't.

Kalilamae: Yes it is! You're stuuupid. Stupid like a moose.

jgc123: Heh. Potato.

Kalilamae: Do you even know what that's from?

jgc123: I forget...

Kalilamae: sigh It's JtHM. I think he was talking about Dillon's head.


	11. Pink Sparkley Rooster

I would have posted yesterday, but ff.n was being a butt. I'm very sorry that ff.n is such a butt.

Alrighty then. Chapter eleven is HERE! W00T! Oh well. Read on! I just watched Madness Combat, by the way, so you WILL see my inspiration derived from it.

Oh and Kajiin? You're wish has been granted. TACOS SHALL FALL FROM THE SKY!

By the way everyone: complaining about slow updates is not the way to get me to update faster. Just leave a nice review. It gives me motivation.

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"..." Shino said in a slightly annoyed voice. _That isn't possible._

"..." Gaara asked. _And why is that?_

"..." Shino sighed. _This is Blordehourtsenmohck, homeland of the Aburames._

"..." Gaara said in suprise. _The what a what now?_

THEN THEY WERE SUCKED UP BY THE DIMENSION THINGY AGAIN!!!

Kankuro landed in a mud puddle with his cat. They both started to lick their 'paws' and do weird cat things like that.

Shikamaru landed on top of Temari because it is fun to torture him.

Shino and Gaara landed on their feet and realized that they were standing in... a forest. But not just any forest, no, a crazy forest!

Of course, they didn't know this.

All they knew was that they were among many zany trees. I hate that word. ZANY.

"That was... strange." Gaara said quietly to himself.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU FREAK!" screeched Temari even though it was obvious she didn't mind.

_Oh yeah. She digs me. _though Shikamaru. Boy was that out of character!

He scrambled away and leaned against a tree.

Then it happened!

Everyone watched in slow motion as a taco descended from the heavens and landed upon Shino's head.

"I hate you all." Shino said quietly.

Delicious taco fillings dripped down his face.

SPLAT! Another taco came down, this time landing on Shikamaru.

"What?" said Shikamaru dumbly.

Tacos were soon coming in a steady stream of taco goodness, though their crunchy shells caused much pain.

The Really Bored 5 scrambled for shelter, but were quickly split up.

Gaara and Shino ran to the mountains in the east.

Temari and Shikamaru dashed to the ocean in the west.

Kankuro and Fluffy ran south into a cave.

Kankuro was huddled in the back of the cave, clutching tight to his kitty pal, when he saw a rooster.

**A pink sparkly rooster full of joy and Disney Magic.**

"Heya there little buddies! 'Sup?"

"Uh meow. Why is there an obviously male but still pink bird talking to me?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA, OK! SHUT UP! Anyway, I'd like to help you." Suddenly the rooster looks nervous. "There are... horrible things on this island. Just... just HORRIBLE!"

Then his awful smile returned. "Isn't that just _swell_?" he said, doing the weird thing that Mickey does when he says that with his arm. "

So I wanna make sure it doesn't hurt you like it hurt me." the rooster continued.

"You don't look hurt. Meow." Kankuro mewed suspicuosly.

"Meow." meowed Fluffy.

A look of insanity crossed the rooster's face. "Oh, I'm hurt for sure. It's all in the mind, sonny. All in the mind! Heha. HEHEHAHAHA!"

"Um... meow?"

"So, you want help or what?"

"Yeah. Sure. Meow..."

Back with Temari and Shikamaru however, things were going better.

"CRABS! AAAH!" screeched Temari.

"Um... aaah. Crabs. Hm. Craaaabs. Hey, Temari, we can eat those."

She stopped. "Eat? You cook them, Shikalazymaru?"

"Temari, I know how to cook if you can make a fire."

"Okie dokie." she pulled out some matches and started a fire and gave Shikamaru a previously invisible crab cookin' pot.

So they ate crabs and built a shelter of crab shells. Soon they had a small village inhabited by strange faceless humans that were completely gray and had no arms but levitating hands along with Temari and Shikamaru themselves.

They prospered on their crab farms and lived a healthy, outdoor, crab eating life.

Oh, and to make this more interesting let's say that now Temari and Shikamaru are in love or something. Yeah. That sounds good.

Shino and Gaara on the otherhand...

They walked silently down the mountain path.

Their ninja skillz guided them towards safety, but they were not skillful enough to foresee the danger ahead.

A danger so evil, so incredibly horrible that few dare speak it's name... C.L.O.W.N. Yes. C.L.O.W.N. Not 'clown', but C.L.O.W.N.

These colorful killers lurked only in the farthest corners of the round world (like Nevada) ... and it was on one such corner that Gaara and Shino were walking.

The whole C.L.O.W.N Clan was certainly aware of their presence and it filled each of them with a terrible rage, a rage gathered from their insatiable bloodlust.

Now, C.L.O.W.Ns are not ordinary killer clowns, but rather zombie clowns. Green and bloodied, their bodies mangled from their countless battles, C.L.O.W.Ns are not to be mistaken for your average clown bent on the destruction of all living things (for all clowns are), but are to be feared like the awful beasts they are.

C.L.O.W.Ns hate everything but eachother, and even then they fight out their immortal lives in arenas, only ever stopping to kill harmless passerby.

Almost nothing can kill a C.L.O.W.N though, not even a stop sign sent through it's black heart. The only exceptions are Shboogy and a creature so holy I shall not speak it's name.

Shino and Gaara have a problem though. The Most Holy lives in it's hidden underground utopia in Antartica and Shboogy the cat lives under the house of a boy known as Fat the Filthy Lying Cheater with her demonic army of dual AK-47 wielding feline worshipers.

Neither of these are anywhere near of the desolate island the two silent children were on.

And now as Shino and Gaara walk, the C.L.O.W.Ns complete the final preparations for their assault.

"...?" _Uh, Shino? Does anything seem... out of place to you?_

"..." _Besides the fact we are on an island filled with zany trees and tacos keep landing in my afro, no._

"...?" _What about that squirty flower right there?_

"..." _That's pretty weird. Why would a clown- uh oh. This is just like in the horror movies. _

"...!" _Oh my good golly jolly green goshy goo! It's a trap!_

The C.L.O.W.Ns couldn't hear their silent speech so suspected that they were unprepared for the oncoming rush of clowny doom. BuT tHeY wErE wRoNg!!!1!!one!

Gaara flipped around and blocked with his sand. Though he stopped the first few, the barrier was soon broken.

Shino sent out his bugs, but the demonous nightmare monsters that are C.L.O.W.N had no chakra, but HELLFIRE flowing through it. The bugs returned to him.

The it happened. Shino and Gaara were on the verge of destruction when the ground split open. A roar unlike any sound heard before echoed through the land and a great beast stood before them. It was The Holy One!

It's body was strangely shaped, impossibly shaped, and tapered into an anteater mouth. It's thing tongue whipped about, searching for something to destroy. The creature's huge wing held AK-47s like the feline army behind him. Each cat held two AK-47s, and the cat in front of them all, Shboogy, held a ball of pure hate in it's paws.

The Holy One took a step forward and snarled visciously.

Shboogy grinned and threw the hate at the C.L.O.W.Ns, causing many to flee or die.

It wasn't long before they were all destroyed. Shino and Gaara thanked them, but Shboogy and The Holy One had to return home. So they did.

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Well. That was one of my stranger chapters and it took like... forever to write for some reason. Suddenly inspiration flooded my mind and I knew what to do! I wrote and then... fanfiction acted like a butt. :(


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